Practice
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Reno watches Marlene and Denzel while Tifa relaxes. What chaos insues? ReTi oneshot.


Practice

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for Aeriths-Rain so enjoy and sorry for the long wait. Please R&R.

Reno was relaxing on the couch, just enjoying the quiet when the front door opened and the love of his life entered the house. Her sable hair trailing after her, Tifa sat down beside her fiancé and pouted at him. Reno gazed into her vermillion eyes and smiled at her.

"Hey honey, did you have a bad day?" 

"No…it's just I have a favor to ask you…" Tifa said, still pouting.

"What is it?"

"Could you possibly watch Marlene and Denzel tonight? I really would like to relax." 

"Alright, how bad could it be?" Reno said. 

Later that day as Marlene and Denzel came home after school they found Reno waiting for them instead of Tifa. The Turk had a huge smile on his face when he saw the kids but they looked around for Tifa.

"Where's Mom?" Denzel asked.

"She's relaxing so tonight I'm your babysitter." Reno said with the smile still on his face. Denzel and Marlene looked at each other and then back at Reno.

"But you're boring Reno." Marlene said. Reno stared wide eyed at the child but quickly resumed his smiling expression.

"Don't listen to whatever Chocobo Head tells you two. I'm fun, really so what do you want to do first?"

* * *

Tifa sighed in contentment as she basked in the hot water of her bubble bath. Muscles tense and sore from working relaxed in the warm water and Tifa closed her eyes, savoring the quiet. That is until her stomach rumbled loudly. 

"RENO!" 

At the loud shout of his fiancé Reno instantly ran upstairs and poked his head into the bathroom. His eyes quickly roved up and down her naked form until he saw that she was glaring at him.

"You rang?" Reno said in his best Lurch voice. 

"Stop messing around! I'm starving so go get me some food."

"Alright, what do you want?"

"I want some deep fried pickles, blue cheese covered pop tarts, oh and some marshmallow and onion pizza and grab all the food you got three days ago too." Tifa said, drooling at the prospect of all that food.

"Babe you're going to get…" But Tifa glared at him, as if daring her lover to mention the three letter word. "I'll be going now…"

"And take Marlene and Denzel with you." Tifa ordered. About fifteen minutes later Reno was at the local supermarket, Marlene and Denzel running off to who knows where in the massive place while Reno tried to keep an eye on them and get the food his lover wanted. Putting the last bag of food into the cart, Reno then went to look for the kids.

Luckily they weren't hard to find. Both threw some packages into the cart. Walking up to the cashier, Reno paid and quickly left not wanting his fiancé pissed off at him any longer. Coming home with arms loaded down with food, he found Tifa waiting, arms crossed. Her former taut abs had given way to a rounded stomach, evidencing every pound she had gained during her 6 months of being pregnant.

"Finally you're here." Tifa grumbled. Then she smiled at Marlene and Denzel. "Did Reno get you guys something?"

"Sure did Mom, he got us balloons!" Denzel cried.

"And candy!" Marlene put in a few seconds later. The two children then grabbed the items they had tossed into the cart and went off to play. Tifa came up and Reno thought he would get a kiss but no, that pleasure was denied when Tifa instead grabbed a bag of chips and quickly started eating.

"So GULP how SNARF are you MMF handling the kids?" Tifa said content with her junk food.

"Just fine, I think they're starting to like me." Tifa had finished the chips and was halfway through a pint of ice cream, the vanilla smeared all over her cheeks. Pausing in her meal, Reno thought that now he was finally going to get his kiss but he got something else.

"BURRRRPPPPP ah that hit the spot but I think I still have room for some more." Reno looked at his fiancé with disgust.

"Is acting like a slob a part of pregnancy these days?" He asked. Instantly Tifa's eyes started watering and she ran into the kitchen. Reno sighed heavily and followed after her. Loud sobs spilled forth from the bartender's mouth.

"It's true; I am a fat slob aren't I? Oh now you're going to divorce me because all I do is nag you and send you out for food!" Reno set the groceries down and wrapped his arms around her as best he could. Instantly she pushed him away. "Don't touch me! It's all your fault I'm like this! Now I'll never get my figure back and it's all thanks to you and your sexiness!" She then kissed Reno deep on the lips and pushed him hard against the counter. Reno waited for her to mount him but instead she broke apart from the kiss and grabbed a bag of food, heading up to her room.

"Damn mood swings..." Reno said, walking by the kids rooms to make sure they were having fun. Looking inside he found Denzel blowing into a tiny white balloon or at least it looked like a balloon but on closer inspection Reno recognized what it really was: a condom.

"Hey Reno; thanks for the balloons." Reno smiled weakly, not wanting to ruin the children's innocence.

"I'm glad you like them." 

"I'm going to go show Mom!" Denzel said and Marlene followed after him, holding the "balloon" she had made in her hands. Reno looked up at the ceiling.

"You hate me, don't you Lord?" A few moments later he heard his wife yelling his name. He hung his head and walked towards the bedroom. Tifa's wine red eyes bore into his and she held the two condom balloons in her hands.

"Reno is this some kind of joke?" 

"No Tifa, I didn't mean for this to happen." Reno said. Denzel then poked his mother's round stomach.

"Mom why are you so fat anyway?" Reno waited for Tifa to explode but she only smiled at her adopted son.

"I am pretty fat huh Denzel? Well actually I have a baby in here so you're going to have a brother or sister soon, isn't that great!" Denzel's eyes widened and he and Marlene both hugged onto Tifa tightly.

"But how did the baby get in there?" Marlene asked. Tifa looked at Reno and he lay on the bed beside his lover and the two kids.

"It starts with a bird called the Stork…" Reno started to say. 

"And when mommies and daddies want a baby they send a letter to the Stork…" Tifa said.

"So the Stork sends the baby and the mommy has to get fat so she can…"

"Put the baby away until it's ready to show up." Tifa finished. Denzel and Marlene looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.

"I'm never having babies. I don't want to get fat like Pigfa." Marlene said innocently. Denzel nodded in agreement. Tifa's eyes widened.

"Marlene…what did you call me?"

"Pigfa; Uncle Cloud, Uncle Cid, Daddy, and Aunt Yuffie call you that all the time when you're gone." Marlene and Denzel then heard the door open and the booming voice of Barret calling Marlene's name. Both children ran out of the room. Reno hugged onto his wife tightly and started kissing her belly.

"Tifa you're not fat alright? You have to gain weight to support the baby okay?" When Tifa didn't respond, he looked at her face. Her eyes were shooting off sparks or at least that's what it looked like to Reno. "So how do you want to get them back?" Reno asked, voice low as he whispered in her ear.

"I don't know yet but we'll think of something." Tifa said, returning the kiss. Breaking apart Tifa looked at Reno with soft eyes. "I'm sorry I'm so tough to deal with right now." Reno kissed her again on the lips and once they broke apart again he was smiling at her.

"It's alright babe. I love you no matter how many times you hit me, burp in my face, or threaten to leave." Tifa sighed in contentment as he kissed her on the neck, wondering why she deserved such a caring lover.


End file.
